FAMILY FYI'S
‘Sexting’ and Your Kids
So, Santa brought your 12-year-old a shiny new cell phone over the holidays. You look at it as tool for safety and convenience. She looks at it as a new toy and a way to connect with all her friends who have mobile phones. Amidst the loud crackling sound of wrapping paper being torn open, you made a vain attempt to warn her about the appropriate usage: “Remember, you’re only supposed to use it to call—”. But by her shrieks of glee, you’re thinking she didn’t quite hear you.
It’s much more common for children, tweens and teens to have a cell phones—a recent survey found that 78 percent of teens have a cell phone while 15 percent have a phone with Internet access. And because communication has become so easy with functions like SMS text messaging (which are usually already installed on phones now), there are more windows open for dangerous activity such as “sexting.” This new epidemic is becoming trendier among tweens and teens. Sexting is sending a text message with photos of children or teens that are inappropriate, naked or engaged in sex acts. What’s shocking is about 20 percent of teen boys and girls have sent such message, according to a recent nationwide survey by the National Campaign to Support Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.
Sexting can have enormous consequences for you and your child. Receiving explicit messages can be traumatic for the child in the picture as well as the sender and receiver. “We need to inform them about the consequences of sexting,” says Karen Child Ogden, M.A., a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Costa Mesa. “It’s not just an innocent thing.” Ogden, a contributor to the children’s book series “Temptation of a Generation” (www.temptationseries.com) which teaches young kids to think about the effects technology has on their lives, advises that parents should start the conversation early about the consequences sexting can have on them, their family and their community. To get you started, here’s five tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) on helping your child make good choices:
Talk to your kids, even if the issue hasn’t directly impacted your community. Ask, “Have you heard of sexting?” “Tell me what you think it is.” It’s important to first learn their understanding is of the issue and explain it appropriately for their age.
Use examples appropriate for your child’s age. For younger children with cell phones who do not yet know about sex, inform that text messages should never contain pictures of people (kids or adults) without their clothes on, kissing or touching each other in ways that they’ve never seen before. For older children, you may want to use the term “sexting” and give specifics about sex acts they may know about. For teens, be very specific that “sexting” often involves pictures of a sexual nature and is considered pornography.
Make sure they understand that sexting is serious and can be considered a crime. There are consequences associated with sexting that may involve the police or suspension from school. This act can also hurt the sexter’s permanent record that may inhibit goals of getting a job or going to college.
Experts have said that peer pressure plays a major role in the sending of texts, with parties being a contributing factor. Collecting cell phones at gatherings is one way to reduce the temptation.
Tell your child if she ever receives a message that makes her uncomfortable, to contact an adult immediately. —Allison Tong
Sources: www.aap.org, life.familyeducation.com, www.thenationalcampaign.org
